When you want to complain, think of the male praying mantis.
DURING mating, if he’s LUCKY (thousands of males die before they can pass on their genes), the female will allow him to inseminate her while she eats him for nourishment. (There’s a national geographic video of this, I couldn’t watch…)
Our reactions to unfavorable events determine the quality of our life, because they reflect how we handle the clash between expectations and reality.
Happy people focus on the reality and how to make the unfavorable situation better. Complainers are unhappy and focus on what makes them unhappy.
It’s easy to be unhappy, but it’s also just as easy to be happy. Happiness is a choice.
Stop being a complainer. Pick a tip (below) and act on it!
1. The truth will set you free! Be honest with your expectations by being honest with what you want.
We really only complain when our expectations don’t align with our perceived reality. To fix this, we just have to be honest with our expectations and know why we have those expectations.
Recommendation: Check out Katie Byron. She has an inquiry process called the Work (free-link). It’s a proven method that allows you to pinpoint why you’re upset and possibly self-destructive. This process has helped a wide range of people, such as yours truly, to stressed businessmen, rape victims, clinically depressed people, etc.
2. Write down five impossible and five possible things you want to do (“try”) in life. Pick one and JUST do it!
If you have time to complain about not having things in life, you have too much time. Make the most of your time! Pick something from your list and just do it!
Action is progress and like Tony Robbins teaches, “Progress equals happiness.”
No clue where to start? Randomly put a finger on the list. Make sure you commit yourself to doing whatever your finger lands on. No excuses! And when I say commit, I mean the act of just doing it. I don’t mean you need to master it. If you commit to running, don’t confuse that with running a marathon and placing first.
3. Create positivity in your life. Give your time and energy into something you care about.
Whatever you give, it doesn’t have to be much, but it should align with what you’re interested in. Make sure to set expectations, such as, how much time you want to give. Don’t get burnt out!
For me, I love writing, sharing, and learning new ideas. I accomplish all three things with my blog. Blogging gives me an opportunity to reflect, share, and write what I learned.
For example, if you like gardening, find some organization in the community that needs help with gardening. If you like reading, why not read to kids at the library? You’ll feel amazing! If not, pick something else to do until you feel good doing it. It’s that simple.
If you don’t know where to start, google volunteer opportunities for what you like to do. For instance, I googled, “volunteer opportunities for someone that likes cooking,” I got 41,900,000 results!
Have suggestions or questions, comment below and let me know!